Month: March 2005

Little Asian boy: Mommy, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Mom: Where did you hear that?
Little Asian boy: I made it up.

That made me laugh out loud and the rest of the sites worth a regular look too. Sew hears sum pikchers 4 yew.

A hairy dog (my mum took this one, it’s a dog called Murphy that her dogs are in love with)…

And here’s some train tracks…

Fox News Anchor: So will we catch Usama Bin Laden?
Expert: Maybe not in our lifetime but we will catch him.

Wuhuh?

That passes for news on the Fox News channel… And they spell Osama funny… And they smell… ahem…

Not a fox.

So whad’up? Hmmm the snow is clearing in fact there’s a danger that today could turn into a warm day in Michigan. My Ipod has a new lease of life and is rammed full of new music which includes a hell of a lot of film soundtrack stuff. I volunteered (but just for one day) at the Ann Arbor Film Festival and spent 7 hours up a ladder tying about 10,000 (roughly) small cardboard sycamore seeds to a big orange plastic net hanging from the ceiling while people walked past occasionally and said “Woooow — Amazing!”. I think they were a little misguided. Anyway, walking a dog with the soundtrack to The Omen in your headphones makes a routine experience far more dramatic. Try it… you’ll like it….

A dog from The Omen yesterday.

Blanket coverage of the Schiavo case is really starting to get to me now; in fact I wish that someone would put a blanket over her and end it all, poor woman. Let me just say for the record, and with no idea how legally binding a blog post is, that should I enter a persistent vegetative state, please pull the plug, the tube, the chain, or indeed whatever needs pulling. Hit me over the head with a comically large iron frying pan, give me a birthday cake with dynamite for candle sticks, drop me from a great height over a cliff into a canyon. In fact the closer you can make it to a Road Runner cartoon the better. But first please just check that I’m not asleep. I can snooze pretty deeply you know.

What else? Ahh yes, Duran Duran Duran. At the Auburn Palace. Guess how much it looked like a palace, and then guess how much it looked like a multi-storey car park with hot dog and beer concessions… None-the-never-the-less, The Duran quintuplets did the business in their normal pantomime way. 44 year olds posed like 20 year olds. 40 year olds screamed at them like 16 year olds and all was well with the world. Andy Taylor of the Taylor brothers returned from a week off watching his dad die and dedicated a song to his dad. Lumps formed in everybody’s throats. Simon The Good (Le Bon geddit?) wiggled his hips and thrust his pelvis. Lumps formed in the trousers of the gentlemen who later accosted me in the foyer asking me who was my favourite Duran boy and squealed with delight when I said John Taylor. They liked him too.

My favourite bit? Duran Duran covering White Lines originally by Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel, always floats my boat. It’s wrong for so many reasons but if any band deserve to be allowed to sing a song warning of the dangers of ker-ke-ker-ke-ker-ke- cocaine (who knows what that song is?) then it’s these Brummie New Romantics who propped up the economies of more than one South American country with their intake during the 80’s. Allegedly.

Grandmaster Melle Mel says “D-d-d-d-d-d-d-don’t d-d-d-d-d-do it!” >sniff<

If you were a New Romantic 25 years ago, does that mean you’re an Old Romantic now? I’m off to watch a Cary Grant film and buy chocolates for girls…

Cary says ”Happy Easter tooo yooow.”

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Now THAT takes me back…

“Do you drink coffee?”
-Yeah, that’d be great. I need waking up.
“You want some more coffee?”
-Yes please. Thanks a lot.
“You want some mo-“
-Yeah that’s great.
“You want su-“
-Yeah great
“You w-“
-GREAT
“Y-“
-M…

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz…

– Meanwhile, over there at that table.

“She sure made one mistake that night.”
uh huh
“She bin payin’ fo’ it ever since. Yuh know she done got a degree in nursin’?”
uh huh
“She some clever girl”
uh huh
“She done travelled a lot too. Bin all over.”
uh huh
“Oregon, Utah, a mess o’ places”
uh huh. Miss, give me a diet coke.
“Say… What’s soup today?”