Category: Uncategorized

Fox News Anchor: So will we catch Usama Bin Laden?
Expert: Maybe not in our lifetime but we will catch him.

Wuhuh?

That passes for news on the Fox News channel… And they spell Osama funny… And they smell… ahem…

Not a fox.

So whad’up? Hmmm the snow is clearing in fact there’s a danger that today could turn into a warm day in Michigan. My Ipod has a new lease of life and is rammed full of new music which includes a hell of a lot of film soundtrack stuff. I volunteered (but just for one day) at the Ann Arbor Film Festival and spent 7 hours up a ladder tying about 10,000 (roughly) small cardboard sycamore seeds to a big orange plastic net hanging from the ceiling while people walked past occasionally and said “Woooow — Amazing!”. I think they were a little misguided. Anyway, walking a dog with the soundtrack to The Omen in your headphones makes a routine experience far more dramatic. Try it… you’ll like it….

A dog from The Omen yesterday.

Blanket coverage of the Schiavo case is really starting to get to me now; in fact I wish that someone would put a blanket over her and end it all, poor woman. Let me just say for the record, and with no idea how legally binding a blog post is, that should I enter a persistent vegetative state, please pull the plug, the tube, the chain, or indeed whatever needs pulling. Hit me over the head with a comically large iron frying pan, give me a birthday cake with dynamite for candle sticks, drop me from a great height over a cliff into a canyon. In fact the closer you can make it to a Road Runner cartoon the better. But first please just check that I’m not asleep. I can snooze pretty deeply you know.

What else? Ahh yes, Duran Duran Duran. At the Auburn Palace. Guess how much it looked like a palace, and then guess how much it looked like a multi-storey car park with hot dog and beer concessions… None-the-never-the-less, The Duran quintuplets did the business in their normal pantomime way. 44 year olds posed like 20 year olds. 40 year olds screamed at them like 16 year olds and all was well with the world. Andy Taylor of the Taylor brothers returned from a week off watching his dad die and dedicated a song to his dad. Lumps formed in everybody’s throats. Simon The Good (Le Bon geddit?) wiggled his hips and thrust his pelvis. Lumps formed in the trousers of the gentlemen who later accosted me in the foyer asking me who was my favourite Duran boy and squealed with delight when I said John Taylor. They liked him too.

My favourite bit? Duran Duran covering White Lines originally by Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel, always floats my boat. It’s wrong for so many reasons but if any band deserve to be allowed to sing a song warning of the dangers of ker-ke-ker-ke-ker-ke- cocaine (who knows what that song is?) then it’s these Brummie New Romantics who propped up the economies of more than one South American country with their intake during the 80’s. Allegedly.

Grandmaster Melle Mel says “D-d-d-d-d-d-d-don’t d-d-d-d-d-do it!” >sniff<

If you were a New Romantic 25 years ago, does that mean you’re an Old Romantic now? I’m off to watch a Cary Grant film and buy chocolates for girls…

Cary says ”Happy Easter tooo yooow.”

x

Page 1

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Now THAT takes me back…

“Do you drink coffee?”
-Yeah, that’d be great. I need waking up.
“You want some more coffee?”
-Yes please. Thanks a lot.
“You want some mo-“
-Yeah that’s great.
“You want su-“
-Yeah great
“You w-“
-GREAT
“Y-“
-M…

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz…

– Meanwhile, over there at that table.

“She sure made one mistake that night.”
uh huh
“She bin payin’ fo’ it ever since. Yuh know she done got a degree in nursin’?”
uh huh
“She some clever girl”
uh huh
“She done travelled a lot too. Bin all over.”
uh huh
“Oregon, Utah, a mess o’ places”
uh huh. Miss, give me a diet coke.
“Say… What’s soup today?”

Poor Edwyn. In hospital with a brain haemorrhage (that’s fun to spell). Bet he’s never had a headache like that before. I was never a big fan but the fact that he’s made it this far with limited commercial success as a singer but still managed to avoid the day job leaves me with a sneaking admiration (being someone who’s currently avoiding a day job). On a purely selfish level it’s a scary reminder of your own mortality when your generations pop stars start getting sick. Boy George with hip replacements anybody? I read an interview with Duran Duran a while back. Of course, since it was about Duran Duran, I read it on a glamorous jet set flight to St Tropez while sipping a scotch and coke, and the last time I was on that same British Airways flight to St Tropez, so were Simon Le Bon and the fragrant Yasmin. Anyway, in the interview of which I speak, they talked about how no matter how long they’ve been touring they feel a responsibility to go out and look sparkly and glamorous because while they do, the people who were their audience first time round coming to see them still feel sparkly and glamorous by association. First time I read it I thought “cheesy” but thinking about it afterwards it kind of shows a more intimate connection between band and audience than most pop type people manage to articulate. It’s a bit more subtle.

All you people younger than me don’t know what I mean and all you older brothers back at home with your Beatles and your Stones (we never got it off on that revolution stuff. It was such a drag, too many snags) are laughingly thinking, “I told you so”.

Awwww hell. Do you think turning 36 has had a bad effect on me?

Do you know that in America when they talk about a band they always refer to the band as a singular thing rather than a collective noun. So a (young) American would say “Duran Duran is playing in Detroit at the end of March”, while an English person would say, “Duran Duran are playing in Detroit at the end of March”?

Duran Duran are playing in Detroit at the end of March and I’m 36 and I’m going so I can feel sparkly and glamorous. Doop doodup, der doop doop doodup, this is planet Earth…

Amidar

This was one of my favourite arcade games as a littl’un and left me rapt with guilt as it sucked millions of 10p’s from my pocket. Just one more go when I should have been meeting my family on the beach in Cornwall…

Join me

Tailgunner

Next time round, some more pictures of snow, for ’tis snowing once more, and a competition winner…

eBay Kodak x15 F

Please bid on this and you will have good luck forever and your children will all have many good things to say about you.