Author: merocet

Remarkable how rough 4 days of sleeping a lot, drinking heroic quantities and smoking for Jesus, can make you feel. Can I have a new body? This one hurts too much.

Leaving on a jet plane today back to a world of wall painting, carpeting (car petting? “Theres a good car. Car want a biscuit?”) and other such activities. After last night I have a new place to go to though which is cool. Djibouti at the beginning of next year… must get myself a map but I think its a right turn at Brighton and then straight on til morning.

Ahh speaking French for the first time in over a year hurts my head! As does trying to type on a French layout keyboard. Spent my first evening here in someones garage playing drums for a friends band. Haven°t drummed in anger for 3 years or more and getting back into it in 30 degree heat with a band that errs towards 20 minute versions of every song they play is an interesting way to get very dehydrated.

Other than that I have seen my sick friend which is why I°m really here and have drunk pastis and ice cold rosé wine to excess with other friends which is never bad.

And now I can speak French again. I think the secret is that they keep it in the bottles. They should hand it out at the airport then all the dodgy English tourists would be fluent.

So I’m typing crap into a computer when I should be doing something more useful. Emptying the washing machine and then packing to go to France tomorrow morning, oh actually this morning, spring to mind immediately as more productive uses of my time. But hey, the night is young and I am increasingly less so.

A night in a pub drinking shandy? That I should be reduced to this! Scandalous. One of the things that I long suspected was that working made me drink too much and in the last couple of months, excellently, my theory has been proved true. So there it is, official scientific proof that work is most definitely bad for you. Become unemployed. Your liver will love you for it and put you back on it’s Christmas card list and you’ll have more money in your pocket. When was the last time YOU had a Christmas card from your liver? I rest my case.

OK, on with domesticity…

It doesn’t take much to get my thoughts round to Planet of the Apes and today is no exception. This time it’s IKEA that did it. Or rather didn’t do it. Put handles in for my new kitchen that is. Oh anyway, god damn them all to hell.

As retribution for their crime, I’m buying my handles from Wickes. That’ll learn those Swedish flatpack making, salt licorice eating, Saab drivers. Oh Yes…

Maybe I should have got more sleep last night?

This made me smile as the signature of someone I knows email…

“Bush/Cheney in ’04: Don’t change horsemen mid-apocalypse.”

Ouch Sunday morning and I was looking to get a non-builder-hassle lie-in… Too hot! Anyway today is paint buying day… Bring on the gallons of Magnolia and other things that are just off white really.

Ok, so here we have it, the beginning of this thingy that everyone says I should do (other than smoke less). Well I hope you’re happy. I told you it would be rubbish didn’t I? Well look, it’s rubbish. I’m aways right. I haven’t even gone anywhere yet, in fact I barely left the house today, which is not to say I left the house naked, oh no. Just that I am lazy.

So right… errr… did you see that monkey? I’ll go now