Author: merocet

Well hello there. You’re looking well. Have you had your hair cut or something? No? Well you look really good. Those trousers really flatter you. And I love what you’ve done with your flat. It’s really “you”.

Why is it that some people are really good at getting on with stuff and others i.e. me are very, very bad? I refer of course to Geoff’s lovely blog site which I helped him invent. And how does he repay me? By updating it far more often than I’ve been doing this recently and not only that but by filling it with stuff he’s done while I sit around on my arse watching Ben (Landlord with a very good, deep south accent) fixing the plumbing.

It’s colder here than a polar bears nuts now, or feels that way (from my vast experience of feeling polar bears nuts) and more annoyingly my broken hard drive still hasn’t come back from the manufacturers. So despite having humped my guitar and laptop half way across the world, and gone through the crap with the soundcard in Manhattan, I STILL can’t sit down and record any bloody songs. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be? It means that the part of my day that was supposed to be filled with that, is now filled with just faffing around walking the dog, having long, hot showers, watching old movies on TCM, reading, worrying about Marc Almond,

and generally not doing much. Not that I’d rather be working or anything you understand, but I wouldn’t mind doing something that made me feel a bit more useful. Taking calls on the Michigan Radio fund drive was fun and I got to meet some nice people and talk other people into donating more money than perhaps they first intended. I also ate a lot of donuts and bagels there. If you fancy, you can have a bit of a listen to it HERE.

Marc is still in critical condition after his motorbike crash and Alvie is sitting forlorn playing his old Soft Cell tapes… Alvie says “Get well soon Marc… woof”

Oooops, now where was I? Burlington airport? yup that was it. Weelll then I got a plane and arrived in Detroit which has the most space age airport so far. The rest I’ve seen have been ripped off from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson from their original Thunderbirds blueprints.

This one was more Space 1999

As you were transported down the walkways to the baggage claim you were sent through a long low tunnel with walls that lit up in blues and greens while Eno-esque musak wafted over you. Sounds a bit crap but it was actually quite magical to the point where I quite fancied another go. Felt a little bit like when you used to (or I did anyway) go on the winter wonderland “trip” in department stores in Croydon before you got to see Father Christmas and get a crap plastic toy. Those funny pretend trips have left me with a love of fibre optics to this day. Anyway, do you care? Do you hell!

So now in Ann Arbor which is a University town and is all pretty low build and leafy. Dog walking on a daily basis and general chilling. I’m manning the phones (manfully) for the Michigan Radio fund drive over the next few days and went into their office for a “training session” the other night which kind of took me back if you know what I mean… They had nicer biscuits though.

Today the respective US administrations gave the Afghani Muslim vote counters the day off to celebrate the start of Ramadan and stepped up the bombing on the Muslims in Faluja presumably for the same reason. Meanwhile the Israeli’s moved their troops a few hundred yards away from some Palestinian refugee camps they’d been illegally occupying as a gesture of goodwill for the same celebration. Alvie’s comment on the situation? He says “Woof” with a tired shake of his head….

Wednesday – Hmm, can’t remember what happened on Wednesday. It was possibly the day that I stayed in Burlington and had a look around the shops in which case it was the day that I bought a very nice shirt in a second-hand shop. Obviously, when I say very nice I mean 80% stretchy polyester, fitted, with big pointy collars as opposed to most people translation of the same concept. Maple fudge was also possibly purchased today if it’s the day I think it was and that is very very nice indeed. No Mooses.

Thursday – Lake Placid – A beautiful drive up to Lake Placid of Olympic and killer crocodile fame. Pretty little town totally based around snow sports which is a bit incongruous on another day that feels like high summer. No Mooses on the way there either. Most of the fun is in the drives just watching the incredible scenery unfold around you and seeing the impossible to describe colours of the Sugar Maples as they go into Autumn mode. “Very pretty” is as close as I get.

Friday – Canadia – Off to Montreal with Andy and Jess today but no Oscar. (He speaks very rudimentary French so wasn’t interested). A quick couple of hours in the car coming up through New York State across the islands (Little Hero and Big Hero) with my jaw on the floor again. No moose though. I have become very good at identifying Moose country. Just so you know, Moose country is marshland type places near forests and the crucial thing that identifies it is that there is NEVER a moose in it. Then over the border after a 20 minute wait and then I’m out of the US into a French bit of North America. Canadialand.

It’s very odd to just be in the US and suddenly be in a place where all the signs are in French. I’ve already been confused by the road signs in Vermont that point to Montpellier and St Albans all in one sign, so suddenly feeling like I was in France was all part of the surrealness, (or is it surreality?) of this trip. Went into old Montreal which feels ridiculously European. Wandered around for a bit then stopped for a crepe. That is always going to be funny no matter how many times I say it. Everyone speaks French and the place feels very laid back as a city in comparison to Manhattan. I think pretty much everywhere in the world probably feels laid back in comparison to Manhattan. Went for a walk down to the port area by the river and saw some very whacky structures on the other side of the water, one huge wire looking globe and some really crazy apartments in a block that looked like something from Planet Of The Apes. Then more wandering in the sun (like a summers day) around the old part of town before a promenade up to St Catherines which is the main shopping area and then a stop for a beer in a bar where you could smoke at the bar, allelujah! The Red Sox were on the tv stuffing it to errr… another team in the play offs which made everyone feel good. Everyones crazy about rounders here, which is nice. After we finished our drink, the Red Sox true to form threw away their lead, scared everyone silly, and then managed to win at the last minute. Last time they won the National Rounders championship was in 1492 apparently so they are due another go.

Food in a Polish restaurant with a piano player playing jazz versions of Beatles songs, and not just Beatles songs but the Ringo ones. Class. Reminded me of the interview with Lennon at the height of the Beatles fame when he was asked whether he thought Ringo was the best drummer in the world and replied that he wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles. He he.

Thing about France is, when you walk around the cities, everyone seems pretty stylish and attractive in that French way. I have a new theory that the reason for the high quota of goodlookingness and welldressedness in France is that anyone who dresses badly there or has been touched with the ugly stick is immediately shipped under cover of darkness to Canada. Sad but true. And I’m sure I’m wrong. I don’t think there’s any Canadians reading this though so I can say what I like… or is there?

After that a trek back across the border via the duty free shop. I’ve got Moose Nuts, but the cream should clear that up. Some good questioning from the border guard, asking what I was doing here and how I was supporting myself, to which the answers are obviously “having a laugh for 3 months travelling all over the states to see people I like with no responsibility whatsoever.” and “I am independently wealthy for the moment thanks to an incredibly lucky house buy 5 years ago.” “You on the other hand are sitting in a small hut on a Friday night having no fun whatsoever.”. Guess whether I said any of that in real life….

Saturday – Chilling out and bought new luggage to replace the case that was kindly trashed by the customs people in Newark and then stuck together with sticky tape with a note saying sorry but it was part of their anti-terror work and there was no financial recompense available. Thanks. Bought some vegetarian salami for a sandwich on the plane… mmmm… and Jess cooked some excellent Thai food and Andy and I went out to a funky band bar and had a beer and then I discovered that I am possibly allergic to Shitake mushrooms despite loving them. Boilk.

Sunday – I’m now sitting in the departure lounge at Burlington airport eating a vegetarian salami sub, which isn’t at all bad but possibly would have benefitted from the addition of a bit of lettuce, mayo and salt and pepper, with Dexy’s Midnight Runners playing through the airport PA system for no apparent reason. Bet they’d switch it off if they’d seen those pictures of Kevin Rowland in a dress and suspenders that promoted his last offering… in fact that’s ruining my appetite. Delta have oversold my flight which was due to leave at 10:50 with a layover in Cincinatti and so have asked me if I minded terribly if I switch to North West Airlines (NWA who Ben likes so now I’m going to listen to NWA on me Ipod cos I can and it amuses me). My new flight is direct to Detroit and gets there much quicker so I’m not doing a great deal of minding currently. Did just find out however that my new, nice, hard Samsonite case (a bargain from Costco at about 50 quid) adds 10 pounds to the weight of my luggage which means I just had to pay 25 dollars to get it on the plane. Thanks again US customs for trashing my old bag.

Goodbye Oscar, hello Alvie.

And so now as the sun sets for the last time over the Piers…

…and YukaTV plays the national anthem for the last time before reminding you to unplug your set or your house might catch fire during the night and you’ll all die.

The memories of Supergrass fading…

…and the biggest pizza ever attempted by 2 skinny fellas ever, digested…

…we arrive, via possibly the prettiest plane ride ever along the Connecticut, in the domain known as Vermont ruled amiably by King Oscar of the venerable and just Retriever clan…

…to find that the squirrel followed me… can you find him?

Vermont is beautiful and what a contrast to Manhattan! The plane ride in from Boston was incredible. Maybe that was just after 2 and a 1/2 hours at Boston airport waiting for the connecting flight from NY but I’m not convinced. Most of the flight followed the Connecticut river into Burlington and the vastness of the landscape was jaw dropping. That’s a lot of trees down there. And fields full of pumpkins. Trees. A lot of trees. Other trees. More pumpkins. Have you noticed how many trees there are? Did we mean to grow this many pumpkins this year? Do you think we could fit in another tree in this gap? That’s really a lot of pumpkins. You know what would look nice over there? A tree. I’m not sure we’re going to be able to sell this many pumpkins you know…. etc… you get the idea?

Sunday went and had dinner with friends of my hosts. Very nice food and people and a nice relaxed way to finish off a day of travelling before a massive sleep on a very comfortable bed. No mosquitoes, no bugs, no sirens, no clattering metal plates being driven over, no 3am trash collections, no 4am tank deliveries, no car alarms, no 5am Stomp practice.

Monday, I had a look around Burlington a bit and tried to sort out contact lens purchasing… not as easy as it sounds and still not sorted. Beauracracy is more important than my impending blindness obviously. All that was followed by a spot of very nice mushroom risotto and cherry pie. DAMN fine cherry pie, Diane.

Had a big tour of the surrounding areas by my lovely hostess here Tuesday. Went to a bar out in the woods for lunch where I saw these things…

and…

The bar was ably tended by a Californian lady who when confronted with the idea of a vegetarian sandwich didn’t blink despite her initial meaty offerings (on reading back that sounds a little wrong but I’ll leave it) and came up with a fantastic doorstop cheese number with creamy tomato soup followed by a ginger cake (known as ginger bread here which makes more sense than the biscuit we call the same thing) with caramel sauce… oh yes that was tasty. Off then to see a real life village general store which was half museum and half everything-shop. Wanted a t-shirt with a moose on but they were all too big… boo. Didn’t manage to see a moose, but I did see a couple of chipmunks which excited me enough. (I think they are possibly 10 a penny round here though from the reaction to my reaction), also smelt a skunk which had a apparently been dead a while and so did not smell as bad as a live one. Must be rough when you smell better dead than alive, but I’m getting used to it…

…

…

thought I’d leave a gap for you to enjoy that very funny joke…

After that we drove around a little more, went up a small mountain, got out and looked at another incredible view, then off to an orchard for apple picking and cider donuts …. mmmm they are nice! Bears pick apples too…

At some point in all of that we went through a campus where 4 people dressed in black were undertaking some bizarre but very beautiful and hypnotic combination of Abseiling and Ballet on the side of the main building. Really graceful as they somersaulted and caught each other in seeming slow-motion.

Day nicely rounded off by food in an Italian in town…. mmmm Gnocchi…

So that’s that bit over then. How does a month in New York go so quickly? Supergrass last night who were super but not grass. And flying today to Vermont for part 2 of the trip. Lacking in ability to write as I only just got up but hey, what do you want? Literature?

This is either quite sweet or terribly sad

…the totally fantastic Wayne and his manager at Manny’s Music sorted me out. How good are they? Very good is the answer. They even understood the words that I used to describe what was wrong with the thing I had bought and so my piece of crap Aardvark USB3 Direct soundcard which didn’t work at all has been replaced by a glorious shiny Tascam US122 souncard which when plugged in works like a dream so Wednesday has been a day of music creation. I love doing this and I’ve had 3 and a half weeks of not being able to. You just don’t know how happy it makes me that my laptop, soundcard and guitar all work in concert with each other with no problem whatsoever. Really you don’t. Honestly, I’m beaming. Oh yeah!

Piece of crap…

Best thing in the world…

So Sunday what happened? late breakfast (lets call it lunch shall we?) at the Waverley Diner. Left the place as always feeling stuffed to the brim with eggs and homefried potatoes, toast, coffee, OJ, more toast, grape jelly, more coffee, pancakes, maple syrup, more toast and more grape jelly. At that point the theory of travelling far kind of went out the window and so a brief stroll past and a browse through some very expensive shoe shops and a very cheap thrift store led the way to Washington Square and it’s squirrel floorshow. Todays episode featured young busy squirrel, we’ll call him Dave, scurrying around, finding nuts and then energetically burying them right in front of me before scurrying off to find more. As soon as the coast was clear, wily, old squirrel with cataracts and grey whiskers, he can be George, would totter up furtively, check that the coast was clear and dig up Dave’s stash and run off with them to his own burying place. This went on for about an hour before Dave twigged and was last seen chasing George in circles round the park. Ah, New York so much to see.

Monday was a little grey followed by technicolour. After a spot of dinner chez nous, we wandered off for “just a couple” of drinks at around 10:30 and utilising my favourite random and pig headed guidance system for finding good bars, I accidentally led us to a place called the Cubby Hole just around the corner from our pad. It was an instant hit with the boys as they poured us indecently large measures of Jim Beam and Vodka respectively (not in the same glass, that’d hurt). A Lou Reed soundtrack and a group of fairly hip looking locals made us feel very sophisticated like Sonia Jackson in a Harvester. Now this “don’t smoke” thing I always bang on about (trying to give up today) actually works out well sometimes because you get shunted outside of places when you want a fag and so does everyone else giving everyone there a common bond of a thing to talk about. It’s probably similar in Falluja. So any road at some point after a couple of drinks, the strength of which would have knocked lesser men down, we ended up talking to a lady. One of those that tends to prefer the company of other ladies if you get my drift, what do you want pictures? Oh alright then.

So anyway, she decided that we had to go to another bar so after another couple of really quite fortifying drinks, we wandered in a bit of a zig zag fashion off to Christopher Street, (home of the Gay Porn and Glen Miller shop as you’ll remember if you’re paying attention.) There we were introduced to Chi Chi’s, a bar for the Afro-American man who likes other Afro-American men. Obviously since I’m black and gay, I felt right at home. Errrr oh actually… Nah, it was a reet nice place with really friendly people who made one feel very welcome (no sniggering at the back you lot). The evening continued with light hearted conversation and jollity (actually everyone especially me talked a load of Jackson’s and I’m not talking Michael) only bought to a halt by the bar suddenly beginning to rotate alarmingly at a time of the morning which was way past bed time, in fact closer to getting up time.

Tuesday was postponed until Wednesday.

Wednesday is looking dicey.

Damn! It being Sunday says that there is but one week left of my time in New York. You know what that means? It’s the perfect time to get a cold and feel shitty, that’s what. Spent the last couple of days a sweaty, gooky mess but managed to get out and about thanks to miracle drugs. Not very far though, in fact both days it was only as far as the park by the piers to chill out on the grass and read and watch the world go by. I like doing that though so it’s not time wasted. Does people watching make me a voyeur? Feeling remarkably better today thanks to drugs and a few glasses of red wine last night.

The rest of my trip around the US is now booked. I looked at a map the other day and realised that my geographic knowledge of this place is worse than I thought, and I was already convinced it was pretty bad. Boston’s by the sea? Who knew? Now that I have the States the right way up I probably stand a better chance of getting from one place to another.

Think I might take the Staten Island ferry today or maybe go to Coney Island again and see the sea. Either sounds quite tempting.

Laura I have it on good authority that Krispy Kremes are just a brand name for a donut type thing so they’re not crispy like you think.

Had a good wander around Greenwich last night before stopping at a little Indian (How) for a bite. Had a look in a shop that sold only gay porn video’s and Glen Miller CD’s. I’m sure that makes sense in some way that just eludes me at the moment. Why did I go in? Because it was there. Did I buy anything? Hell no, I already have Glen Miller on my Ipod.

Actually I went to Boston but hey, close enough. So courtesy of the lovely Fung Wah bus company ($15 all the way there) I get to see another city bringing my total of places visited in the US to 3. What a traveller! Boston was far more mellow than Manhattan. They seem to have cut back on the number of people banging dustbin lids together on the street at 4am unlike New York so I enjoyed the peace. Boston is also much smaller than NY and more spaced out (not stoned) so you get to realise how claustrophobic NY is compared to most places. What’s that? Oh it’s the sky. Weird. Stayed in a lovely little place called Brookline which is very pretty with fantastic houses and proper all American schools just like in John Hughes movies. Spent a lot of the time just being shown around by someone lovely that I’ve only ever met twice, and hanging out.

Back late the next day via the Fung Wah bus with a quick stop off at the…

Wednesday, after a bit of a late start, busy, busy, busy. Off to a gallery to see the Winogrand zoo photography exhibition. Excellent pictures. Total genius.



Back to central park for a little post-art recharge and then off for dinner at another little Italian, (Marinara, is that with fish?) and then off to see Stephen Fry’s Bright Young Things at the Angelika downtown. Good film but a few too many cameo’s got in the way of the story a bit. Still, enjoyed it though. Drowned our minor disappointment with lager at the Red Lion followed by gins and natter at the apartment. Woke up strangely with a headache. What happened there?

People at Aardvark who make my soundcard say that they only support it by email and then don’t reply to emails. When you call them they say it’s a software problem and I’ll have to speak to Microsoft… ahem. Or am I taking the card back to the shop tomorrow morning and getting my money back off Aardvark and then telling everyone I know not to touch them with an 80 foot stick? You decide, or even “you deicide” as I wrote the first time. Much better instruction don’t you think? Now here I am surrounded by the garden of delights that is New York. What’s on the telly?